Have you noticed that one of the things that changes quickly when we begin to change, for the better or worse is the company we keep? This is so evident, even in your own life.

If there is anything that has significant impact on the direction your life takes, it is the company you keep. Speaking at an event in Ndola, I challenged the delegates to list three of their closest friends. Indulge me by doing the same right now:

  1. …………….
  2. …………….
  3. …………….

Think about the things you often talk about with the people you have listed. May I suggest to you that generally, your life will take the direction of your conversations. Conversations affect how we think and what we think about. This in turn will be reflected in our behaviour and our behaviour will yield some results; good or bad. Have you ever come across something referred to as the law of averages? It suggests that, “the result of any given situation will be the average of all outcomes”. In light of this, Jim Rohn says “you are the average of five (5) people you spend most of your time with.” To some extent, our closest companions are a reflection of what “our present and future” are likely to look like.

The second important question you should ask yourself in order to assess the quality of the companions you choose is: What will you have to give up in order to fit in? This is an absolutely important question. When you look at their lives, what is it that they value? It’s very easy to tell what people value by looking at:

  1. what they spend most of their time doing
  2. where they spend most of their resources
  3. the places they hang out
  4. the people they hang out with
  5. the things they are always talking about

Be very honest with yourself in assessing the quality of your associations. What will you have to give up in order to fit in? For you to be truly comfortable among them, and them with you, what kind of person will you need to become? Some of the answers you might get may suggest that you compromise on certain things; on some values you might have. Another case might be that you will need to rise up higher because they place a high demand on you.

Warning! One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to think you cannot be influenced negatively. That is the first of many steps to dropping your guard. A lot of ways in which we are influenced sometimes comes slowly. Before you know it, you are a changed man… or woman.

Take stock of your associations today by running them through this test:

  1. What is the quality of your conversations?
  2. What will you need to give up to fit in?

Thank you for taking time to read this article. I trust you have gotten some value out of it. For daily inspiration and practical motivation; check out and like my facebook page: Dario Ulendo Chongolo.

Ulendo… Our Journey!

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